And I'm so far from being ready to be here tonight! So far from having this small, yet massive writing project come to an end. I'm experiencing loss and grief, this task has become a faithful companion to my days of 28.
And then there's this other part of me that is so relieved that tomorrow I don't have to make time to write. Or experience the "trauma" of posting my soul for all to read. On that note I think I'm starting a new adventure: A painting a week for 29.
I'm not sure what I expected when I set out on this writing craze. I don't feel like a better writer, I don't feel closer to God, or that I have more of life figured out. But what I did learn is the importance of making holy creativity a priority. Many of my most tranquil, restful, life-giving moments of the year can be found in connection with the quiet inner creative vomit. I found a stillness, a healing, a reconciliation that seems beyond words.
My prayer tonight:
Lord bless me,
and the words that have been written.
Lord be with me,
and the places I will go.
Lord care for me,
in your direction I will sow.
In the name of the Father,
the Son,
and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Day 370: 21/03/14
God,
And you meet us where we haven't found you yet.
And we seek you in the places we haven't seen you yet.
Come awaken us.
Come awaken us to life.
We love you, our other.
We love you, our holy.
Be Lord in our hearts.
Be Lord in our lives.
I love you Lord Jesus! Live loud in my heart!
And you meet us where we haven't found you yet.
And we seek you in the places we haven't seen you yet.
Come awaken us.
Come awaken us to life.
We love you, our other.
We love you, our holy.
Be Lord in our hearts.
Be Lord in our lives.
I love you Lord Jesus! Live loud in my heart!
Day 369: 20/03/14
We delight in you Lord.
We delight in you even when we can't see you.
even when we feel like you cannot be found.
We seek first your kingdom Lord.
We seek first your kingdom when all we see is chaos and destruction.
We are found by you, Lord.
Even when we feel lost.
We are found by you Lord.
We are found by you.
We delight in you even when we can't see you.
even when we feel like you cannot be found.
We seek first your kingdom Lord.
We seek first your kingdom when all we see is chaos and destruction.
We are found by you, Lord.
Even when we feel lost.
We are found by you Lord.
We are found by you.
Day 368: 19/03/14
Reminders of Psalm 39
Lord,
Remind us how fast our lives are evaporating.
Show us, depict to us that we are tiny in the grand cosmos.
Invade our hearts.
Pacify our fears.
Unleash your love.
My only hope is in you.
Lord,
Remind us how fast our lives are evaporating.
Show us, depict to us that we are tiny in the grand cosmos.
Invade our hearts.
Pacify our fears.
Unleash your love.
My only hope is in you.
Day 367: 18/03/14
Lord,
And we reach out and touch the hem of your garment.
We stretch out our hands in faith and ask for healing.
Renew us in your steadfast love.
Strengthen us in your peace.
Your kingdom: your power.
Your kingdom: your glory.
Amen.
And we reach out and touch the hem of your garment.
We stretch out our hands in faith and ask for healing.
Renew us in your steadfast love.
Strengthen us in your peace.
Your kingdom: your power.
Your kingdom: your glory.
Amen.
Day 366: 17/03/14
Lord,
And as we leave this day-
leave it in your gracious hands.
We rest our troubled hearts.
We rest our trembling hands.
As we lay down to sleep, lay down and reflect, draw to mind those moments where you met us, those moments we do not recall.
You made yourself known.
Show us again and again Lord.
Reawaken my soul.
Amen.
And as we leave this day-
leave it in your gracious hands.
We rest our troubled hearts.
We rest our trembling hands.
As we lay down to sleep, lay down and reflect, draw to mind those moments where you met us, those moments we do not recall.
You made yourself known.
Show us again and again Lord.
Reawaken my soul.
Amen.
Day 365: 16/03/14
Obviously I can't count!!! hahah.
Mystery of all mysteries I don't understand you at all.
Kindness of all kindness I don't get you!
My eyes feel fused shut, but the warmth of your holiness leaves me in awe.
The warmth of your otherness expands my horizons beyond what I know.
Hover over me as you did the deep.
Hover over me.
I wait on you.
Mystery of all mysteries I don't understand you at all.
Kindness of all kindness I don't get you!
My eyes feel fused shut, but the warmth of your holiness leaves me in awe.
The warmth of your otherness expands my horizons beyond what I know.
Hover over me as you did the deep.
Hover over me.
I wait on you.
Day 364: 15/03/14
Slow me down.
Take me back to the beginning.
Remind me of how you made me.
Remind me how you wove me together in love.
Turn down my clock.
Quiet my mind.
Remind me of your goodness and mercy.
Remind me that they follow me.
Stretch out my days.
Let them last in lingering moments.
Remind me you are enough.
Remind me you are enough for all of me.
Calm my anxious heart.
Surrender its beating beats.
Remind me of your control.
Remind me of your supremacy.
Take me back to the beginning.
Remind me of how you made me.
Remind me how you wove me together in love.
Turn down my clock.
Quiet my mind.
Remind me of your goodness and mercy.
Remind me that they follow me.
Stretch out my days.
Let them last in lingering moments.
Remind me you are enough.
Remind me you are enough for all of me.
Calm my anxious heart.
Surrender its beating beats.
Remind me of your control.
Remind me of your supremacy.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Day 363: 14/03/14
God,
And my priorities might be all over the map.
And I might lack the self control to stick to my lent activities.
And my pride and might roar with "unrighteous" anger.
And I might feel like I've got it all wrong, like I've got it all backwards.
And I might want to run as far away as I can.
So let your love come in like a flood, overwhelming and overriding.
Surprise me with your care
Enchant me with your wonder.
Unlock my hardened heart, soften it into soil.
Prepare my being to be your tabernacle, your holy sanctuary of life.
Rearrange my thinking
Root your truths, weed out the lies.
Plant your seeds in me, your seeds of the Spirit.
Lord, have mercy.
Amen.
And my priorities might be all over the map.
And I might lack the self control to stick to my lent activities.
And my pride and might roar with "unrighteous" anger.
And I might feel like I've got it all wrong, like I've got it all backwards.
And I might want to run as far away as I can.
So let your love come in like a flood, overwhelming and overriding.
Surprise me with your care
Enchant me with your wonder.
Unlock my hardened heart, soften it into soil.
Prepare my being to be your tabernacle, your holy sanctuary of life.
Rearrange my thinking
Root your truths, weed out the lies.
Plant your seeds in me, your seeds of the Spirit.
Lord, have mercy.
Amen.
Day 362: 13/03/14
God,
And I'm tired, tired on my insides.
Weary with nothing left to give.
Taken advantage of and beyond repair.
But you are hope. You are joy. You are life.
Release freedom where there is bondage.
Wise words where there is only a gossiping tongue.
Create in me a clean heart,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Amen.
And I'm tired, tired on my insides.
Weary with nothing left to give.
Taken advantage of and beyond repair.
But you are hope. You are joy. You are life.
Release freedom where there is bondage.
Wise words where there is only a gossiping tongue.
Create in me a clean heart,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Amen.
Day 361: 12/03/14
God,
Let the whole earth rise up and praise you.
Let glory and light surround you.
Let the stars bow in submission and adoration, their glimmer nothing in comparison with you.
Let lawns burst forth into spontaneous flower beds.
Let buds bloom in adoration.
Worthy are you.
Worthy are you only.
Amen.
Let the whole earth rise up and praise you.
Let glory and light surround you.
Let the stars bow in submission and adoration, their glimmer nothing in comparison with you.
Let lawns burst forth into spontaneous flower beds.
Let buds bloom in adoration.
Worthy are you.
Worthy are you only.
Amen.
Day 360: 11/03/14
God,
You are holy, other, set apart, set above.
We need your interference in our lives, we crave it, we seek it.
Place us in your pathway.
Encounter us to the extreme.
Make your existence increasingly real.
It's your kingdom we hunger for.
It's your presence we seek.
Search us.
Know us.
We love you, our other, our holy.
Amen.
You are holy, other, set apart, set above.
We need your interference in our lives, we crave it, we seek it.
Place us in your pathway.
Encounter us to the extreme.
Make your existence increasingly real.
It's your kingdom we hunger for.
It's your presence we seek.
Search us.
Know us.
We love you, our other, our holy.
Amen.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Day 358: 09/03/14
And you Lord,
Are Lord even in this.
Even in the midst of this breaking.
And you Lord are hope.
In this.
Even in this bleak and rain-worn land.
And you Lord are peace.
In this.
Even in this transitional upheaval.
And you Lord are joy.
In this.
Even in this loss and grief.
You are Lord. Even in this. Even in now. Amen
Are Lord even in this.
Even in the midst of this breaking.
And you Lord are hope.
In this.
Even in this bleak and rain-worn land.
And you Lord are peace.
In this.
Even in this transitional upheaval.
And you Lord are joy.
In this.
Even in this loss and grief.
You are Lord. Even in this. Even in now. Amen
Day 357: 08/03/14
God,
And my heart feels like it could stop with all this pain.
And my eyes feel like they could drain the ocean with all these tears.
Sadness over sadness.
Grief over grief.
In your presence is fullness of joy.
In your presence is perfect peace.
In your presence is depth of rest.
In your presence.
In you.
Amen.
And my heart feels like it could stop with all this pain.
And my eyes feel like they could drain the ocean with all these tears.
Sadness over sadness.
Grief over grief.
In your presence is fullness of joy.
In your presence is perfect peace.
In your presence is depth of rest.
In your presence.
In you.
Amen.
Day 356: 07/03/14
Show me your goodness again and again.
Teach me your wonders over and over.
Speak our your life, speak your truth to my bones.
Tell my heart once again of your glory and splendour.
Draw me fuller and truer into you.
Amen
Teach me your wonders over and over.
Speak our your life, speak your truth to my bones.
Tell my heart once again of your glory and splendour.
Draw me fuller and truer into you.
Amen
Day 355: 06/03/14
Trying something new today...if you're reading this follow the instructions of the italics.
Lord,
Today we come with both joys and sorrows
(List two sorrows, list two joys).
Lord, hear our prayer.
Today on our hearts are those who are hurting, those who are sick.
(name those who come to mind)
Lord have mercy.
Today we lay in your hands the things we want to control.
(List the worry you cant seem to let go of)
Into your hands we commit our spirits.
All things done.
All things left half done.
All things undone
We lay in your more-than-capable- hands.
Watch over us while we rest.
Guard us long into the night.
Shelter us with your unrelenting care.
In the name of the Father,
the Son,
and the Holy Spirit.
Amen
Lord,
Today we come with both joys and sorrows
(List two sorrows, list two joys).
Lord, hear our prayer.
Today on our hearts are those who are hurting, those who are sick.
(name those who come to mind)
Lord have mercy.
Today we lay in your hands the things we want to control.
(List the worry you cant seem to let go of)
Into your hands we commit our spirits.
All things done.
All things left half done.
All things undone
We lay in your more-than-capable- hands.
Watch over us while we rest.
Guard us long into the night.
Shelter us with your unrelenting care.
In the name of the Father,
the Son,
and the Holy Spirit.
Amen
Day 354: 05/03/14
Lord,
We await your majesty.
We look for it.
We watch for your coming.
We listen for your truths.
Birth in us this lent season:
creativity and generosity.
Humility and grace.
We seek you and we seek your glory.
We look to no other.
Our eyes are on you.
We await your majesty.
We look for it.
We watch for your coming.
We listen for your truths.
Birth in us this lent season:
creativity and generosity.
Humility and grace.
We seek you and we seek your glory.
We look to no other.
Our eyes are on you.
Day 353: 04/3/14
Reflections on lent:
You snuck up on us lent.
Surprise!
You're here
you in all your wonder, your giving up, your making space.
its here in lent that I'm always surprised and astounded by your paradoxes.
that in the time of giving up there is the finding of abundance.
That in the hurry there is found space.
That in the "need" there is freedom.
Lent reminds me that I need God above all else.
Lent reminds me that all of my eggs are in one basket: the basket of Christ.
Lent reminds me, it teaches me how to make space where there is none.
Lent invites me to watch as I anticipate the work of our saviour.
Lent invites me into the story of Christ.
You snuck up on us lent.
Surprise!
You're here
you in all your wonder, your giving up, your making space.
its here in lent that I'm always surprised and astounded by your paradoxes.
that in the time of giving up there is the finding of abundance.
That in the hurry there is found space.
That in the "need" there is freedom.
Lent reminds me that I need God above all else.
Lent reminds me that all of my eggs are in one basket: the basket of Christ.
Lent reminds me, it teaches me how to make space where there is none.
Lent invites me to watch as I anticipate the work of our saviour.
Lent invites me into the story of Christ.
Day 354: 03/03/14
Inspiration to inspiration.
You led me through the unexpected into beauty.
Inspired by the art I see, Inspired to create with you, with what you've given me.
Inspired to shout loud what I hear you say.
Fill me with your presence as I rest my head upon my pillow.
You led me through the unexpected into beauty.
Inspired by the art I see, Inspired to create with you, with what you've given me.
Inspired to shout loud what I hear you say.
Fill me with your presence as I rest my head upon my pillow.
Day 353: 02/03/14
God,
And you plunge me deeper with each inviting step.
You take me further and wider than I thought I could go.
You challenge me to trust in the midst of extreme doubt.
You ask more than you've ever asked.
Help me be brave.
Help me be brave Lord.
And you plunge me deeper with each inviting step.
You take me further and wider than I thought I could go.
You challenge me to trust in the midst of extreme doubt.
You ask more than you've ever asked.
Help me be brave.
Help me be brave Lord.
Day 352: 01/03/14
God,
We lay all the worrying that doesn't need worrying down.
We lay all the fears that hold us captive into your hands.
You are God and you are love regardless of what my befall.
Here at your feet I rest.
Here at your feet I lay.
Do your work in me God.
Do your work in me.
Amen.
We lay all the worrying that doesn't need worrying down.
We lay all the fears that hold us captive into your hands.
You are God and you are love regardless of what my befall.
Here at your feet I rest.
Here at your feet I lay.
Do your work in me God.
Do your work in me.
Amen.
Day 351: 28/02/14
Lord,
And we lay down all our fears and failures.
We lay down all our doubts and desires.
Quiet our hearts as we sleep.
Let our dreams be filled with life-giving adventures.
Embark us on our journeys.
Settle us in your care.
Encourage our hearts and keep us from despair.
We love you.
Amen
And we lay down all our fears and failures.
We lay down all our doubts and desires.
Quiet our hearts as we sleep.
Let our dreams be filled with life-giving adventures.
Embark us on our journeys.
Settle us in your care.
Encourage our hearts and keep us from despair.
We love you.
Amen
Day 350: 27/02/14
Lord,
Make yourself known in all of my unknown.
Make yourself order in all of my chaos.
Show up where I don't see you.
Find me where I can't find you.
Un-hurry my life and strengthen your cadence.
Perfect your peace in this broken heart.
Heal with your fire.
Speak in your truth.
AMen
Make yourself known in all of my unknown.
Make yourself order in all of my chaos.
Show up where I don't see you.
Find me where I can't find you.
Un-hurry my life and strengthen your cadence.
Perfect your peace in this broken heart.
Heal with your fire.
Speak in your truth.
AMen
Day 349: 26/02/14
I was looking for you, Christ child, because I couldn't find you. And not being able to find you, I myself began to feel lost. With each hour that passed, my distress became more intense. My feelings of hope, security, joy and love seemed to vanish with missing you. Until you found me, my missing grew worse.
Day 348: 25/02/14
Lord,
And its in your presence I find healing, I find rest.
Let nothing stop me, nothing hinder me from the quest of you.
Sing your songs into my soul.
Plunge your truth into my veins.
Place your eyes inside my sight.
Speak your life into this heart.
You are healing.
You are life.
You are rest: in your presence is fullness of joy.
CONVERSION.
And its in your presence I find healing, I find rest.
Let nothing stop me, nothing hinder me from the quest of you.
Sing your songs into my soul.
Plunge your truth into my veins.
Place your eyes inside my sight.
Speak your life into this heart.
You are healing.
You are life.
You are rest: in your presence is fullness of joy.
CONVERSION.
Day 347: 24/02/14
You are my resting place God.
Let me find rest this night.
You are safety and shelter.
Watch over me while I sleep.
You are protection and healing.
Rewire my brain cells even as I sleep.
You are peace Lord.
Let your peaceful, stillness descend into this room.
Sleep come quickly.
Dreams be sweetly.
Christ please meet me.
Amen.
Let me find rest this night.
You are safety and shelter.
Watch over me while I sleep.
You are protection and healing.
Rewire my brain cells even as I sleep.
You are peace Lord.
Let your peaceful, stillness descend into this room.
Sleep come quickly.
Dreams be sweetly.
Christ please meet me.
Amen.
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