God,
I go to bed late and wake up early....something has to change.
And you're the first thing I cut out, and to be honest, right now, you're easy to cut out because I'm so mad at you.
but.....
I need you.
There is not goodness, no light, no life apart from you.
So I drag myself, literally, drag myself out of bed and into your presence.
And I say my prayers with all the apathy and pain in my soul.
I meditated and read and your words knock my carefully constructed tower to the ground.
How do I forget their life giving power?
Even in my doubt you're faithfully working myriads of miracles. I see it written all over the scriptures you lead me to. And to be honest I wonder at your ability to be this faithful to me when I'm this rude to you.
Your patience is tremendously out of control.
I love you.
I'm mad at you.
But I love you.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Day 69: 30/05/2013
God,
You stretch me and grow me like a balloon about to burst.
You push me and pull me like a worn out rubber band.
I like it.
I hate it.
I thrive.
I faint.
Be my everything Christ,
my hope rests only in you.
Amen.
You stretch me and grow me like a balloon about to burst.
You push me and pull me like a worn out rubber band.
I like it.
I hate it.
I thrive.
I faint.
Be my everything Christ,
my hope rests only in you.
Amen.
Day 68: 29/05/2013
God,
If I'm honest...I'm tired, scared, stressed,
but I give to you what you have given to me.
Fill me as I sleep, watch over me as I rest.
If I'm honest...I'm tired, scared, stressed,
but I give to you what you have given to me.
Fill me as I sleep, watch over me as I rest.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Day 67: 28/05/2013
Honesty time....
God,
Your words just strip the flesh right off my bones.
They cut so deep.
The anger is simmering in a low boil, but the volcanic explosion is on its way,
like an unwatched pot of spaghetti sauce boiling over.
these days my palate bags me to exchange my latte for drip coffee and I diagnose my distress.
and my heart, the one that was just mending, is shattered like the microwave plate on a concrete floor.
we all know hearts aren't my strong suit--clubs are.
I thought for once that was finally changing, but the proof is in the cards and I've got a fist full of clubs.
And my back is aching carrying this weight, this heaviness, this boomerang baggage that gives me a limp.
And I'm mad at you God, straight up mad at you!
God,
Your words just strip the flesh right off my bones.
They cut so deep.
The anger is simmering in a low boil, but the volcanic explosion is on its way,
like an unwatched pot of spaghetti sauce boiling over.
these days my palate bags me to exchange my latte for drip coffee and I diagnose my distress.
and my heart, the one that was just mending, is shattered like the microwave plate on a concrete floor.
we all know hearts aren't my strong suit--clubs are.
I thought for once that was finally changing, but the proof is in the cards and I've got a fist full of clubs.
And my back is aching carrying this weight, this heaviness, this boomerang baggage that gives me a limp.
And I'm mad at you God, straight up mad at you!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Day 66: 27/05/2013
Father,
And we lift up our eyes to you, because you are the one from where our help would come from.
And we lift up our hearts to you, because you are the only one who can heal our brokenness.
And we lift up our resources to you, because this whole earth is yours anyway.
And sweet Jesus, today, today we just give back to you all that you have given to us.
Open our hands, help our hearts to give cheerfully.
We look to you, we wait on you, we trust you.
Amen,
And we lift up our eyes to you, because you are the one from where our help would come from.
And we lift up our hearts to you, because you are the only one who can heal our brokenness.
And we lift up our resources to you, because this whole earth is yours anyway.
And sweet Jesus, today, today we just give back to you all that you have given to us.
Open our hands, help our hearts to give cheerfully.
We look to you, we wait on you, we trust you.
Amen,
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Day 65: 26/05/2013
Holy God,
Tonight we thank you for our heritage and our future.
We thank you for those who have gone before and laid the first bricks, and we give thanks for those who will follow.
We look forward to what you will do in our lives, and we wait with anticipation.
Because, because when we reflect and look back we realize that you went way above our wildest dreams and we know that you are still that same God.
We rejoice at your faithfulness to us which gives us the foundation for which our faith in you rests upon.
Be heavy with us this night.
In the name of the father, the son and the Holy Spirit.
Amen
Tonight we thank you for our heritage and our future.
We thank you for those who have gone before and laid the first bricks, and we give thanks for those who will follow.
We look forward to what you will do in our lives, and we wait with anticipation.
Because, because when we reflect and look back we realize that you went way above our wildest dreams and we know that you are still that same God.
We rejoice at your faithfulness to us which gives us the foundation for which our faith in you rests upon.
Be heavy with us this night.
In the name of the father, the son and the Holy Spirit.
Amen
Day 64: 25/05/2013
God,
My pen gushes its smooth ink all over my freshly showered hand...
Immediately I am aware that I will require the patience of Job today.
I read Kathleen Norris and think about how conversion is intrinsically linked with community,
and sometimes, sometimes if I'm real honest I hate that fact.
Lord bless my community, bless my family.
My pen gushes its smooth ink all over my freshly showered hand...
Immediately I am aware that I will require the patience of Job today.
I read Kathleen Norris and think about how conversion is intrinsically linked with community,
and sometimes, sometimes if I'm real honest I hate that fact.
Lord bless my community, bless my family.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Day 63: 24/05/2013
Holy God,
And you went before us
And you went behind us
And though we don't see you we feel your wake, we feel your movements.
And we ask you to be with us
And we ask you to watch over us
And we lie down in peace for you are still awake.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
And you went before us
And you went behind us
And though we don't see you we feel your wake, we feel your movements.
And we ask you to be with us
And we ask you to watch over us
And we lie down in peace for you are still awake.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Day 62: 23/05/2013
Father, God, the one who is above all....
The words aren't even formed yet, the thoughts haven't been sorted and categorized. And I'm not so sure I'm ready to sit here and unpack it all yet. The questions are raging in the background and I'm not ready to let them have the run of this house just yet. The view has been so nice up here, so exciting with just breathing in the fresh mountain air. And that valley, that green valley just seems so deep.
So unwind me. Uncoil my tightly spring wound anxious thoughts. Unfurl me in your care. Cloak me in your truth. That the gales of your love would send me sailing into your grace once again. May the quiet of your arms shelter me from the torrents. Remind me. Remind me of you one more time.
The words aren't even formed yet, the thoughts haven't been sorted and categorized. And I'm not so sure I'm ready to sit here and unpack it all yet. The questions are raging in the background and I'm not ready to let them have the run of this house just yet. The view has been so nice up here, so exciting with just breathing in the fresh mountain air. And that valley, that green valley just seems so deep.
So unwind me. Uncoil my tightly spring wound anxious thoughts. Unfurl me in your care. Cloak me in your truth. That the gales of your love would send me sailing into your grace once again. May the quiet of your arms shelter me from the torrents. Remind me. Remind me of you one more time.
Day 61:22/05/2013
And you say ask...
so I ask of the Lord....
and I say "I'm scared and scarred. And I'm not so sure about this business of putting my heart, the secret dreams of my heart, on the table. Because what if, what if, I'm that one person that they don't come true for."
And I think of all the major and minor gifts you have given me. And of how they are way better than I could have come up with on my own.
I need your love to unlock me. Cause I've been feeling myself receding behind a façade of control and understanding. I think I threw away the key and I'm not sure where I threw it. I'm so broken and undone on the inside and fear, fear is my protective hedge--but not really.
Forgive me father for I have sinned.
Forgive me Christ for I have lied.
Forgive me Spirit for I have grieved you.
Forgive me humans for I have not trusted you.
One thing I ask of the Lord, that I may seek Him in his holy temple, that I may dwell in his presence, that I may hear the word of the Lord and not harden my heart.
so I ask of the Lord....
and I say "I'm scared and scarred. And I'm not so sure about this business of putting my heart, the secret dreams of my heart, on the table. Because what if, what if, I'm that one person that they don't come true for."
And I think of all the major and minor gifts you have given me. And of how they are way better than I could have come up with on my own.
I need your love to unlock me. Cause I've been feeling myself receding behind a façade of control and understanding. I think I threw away the key and I'm not sure where I threw it. I'm so broken and undone on the inside and fear, fear is my protective hedge--but not really.
Forgive me father for I have sinned.
Forgive me Christ for I have lied.
Forgive me Spirit for I have grieved you.
Forgive me humans for I have not trusted you.
One thing I ask of the Lord, that I may seek Him in his holy temple, that I may dwell in his presence, that I may hear the word of the Lord and not harden my heart.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Day 60: 21/05/2013
Holy God,
We hang our heads in shame because of how often we love other things more than we love you.
We take back the control in worry and manipulation.
We take the reins and "show you who's boss".
But you're the boss.
You're the one who is actually in control.
You're the one who, not just proclaims to love selflessly, but actually does it.
Every single day.
Every mess moment of my life
you selflessly pour out your love on me.
You pour it out like you pour the rain out in BC.
I don't want to stay dry,
I want this love of yours to soak me through.
We hang our heads in shame because of how often we love other things more than we love you.
We take back the control in worry and manipulation.
We take the reins and "show you who's boss".
But you're the boss.
You're the one who is actually in control.
You're the one who, not just proclaims to love selflessly, but actually does it.
Every single day.
Every mess moment of my life
you selflessly pour out your love on me.
You pour it out like you pour the rain out in BC.
I don't want to stay dry,
I want this love of yours to soak me through.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Day 59: 20/05/2013
God,
We give you thanks for the wonders you have shown us!
We give you thanks for the grand gestures of your creation in a view.
We give you thanks for the intricate creativity of a little caterpillar.
We give you thanks for hot dogs.
We give you thanks for delicate lettuce wraps.
Today we give you thanks for the extremes in our lives.
We give you thanks for the wonders you have shown us!
We give you thanks for the grand gestures of your creation in a view.
We give you thanks for the intricate creativity of a little caterpillar.
We give you thanks for hot dogs.
We give you thanks for delicate lettuce wraps.
Today we give you thanks for the extremes in our lives.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Day 58: 19/05/2013
Oh God,
And we wake up,
our necks are stiff, our eyes feel heavy,
and we drink our sweet morning nectar...
we want to crave you like we crave our coffee.
And we shower,
and dress, and style our hair,
we want to put the same amount of care to our inside as we do our outside.
And this preparing, this morning routine, seems to till the soil of my soul.
And I'm coming this morning, I'm coming wanting to wait on you,
wanting to sit in your presence and soak up your grace.
We welcome you,
we welcome you to our hearts,
we welcome you to our minds,
we welcome you to our bodies,
we welcome you to our homes,
we welcome you to our churches,
we welcome you...
where we are, you are welcome, and where you are we pray we are welcome.
we love you.
be welcome...
Day 57: 18/05/2013
God,
And we write our night time prayers.
Our hearts and minds are full.
The digestion seems impossible,
our bellies are swollen with unprocessed thought.
And your love flickers and stutters,
but we know it's solid,
even though it feels so fleeting.
My heart thumps and my thoughts race
and I'm finally packing on the pounds of grace.
It's here, here in these moments that I'm assured of your workings.
I might question your ways, but here in the quiet, at the end of the day I know you are mine and I am yours.
And I rest in the rawness.
And we write our night time prayers.
Our hearts and minds are full.
The digestion seems impossible,
our bellies are swollen with unprocessed thought.
And your love flickers and stutters,
but we know it's solid,
even though it feels so fleeting.
My heart thumps and my thoughts race
and I'm finally packing on the pounds of grace.
It's here, here in these moments that I'm assured of your workings.
I might question your ways, but here in the quiet, at the end of the day I know you are mine and I am yours.
And I rest in the rawness.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Day 56: 17/05/2013
Holy God,
We lay this day in your hands.
We give it back to you.
Keep all that is of worth and soak the rest of it is the rains of your grace.
We lay our lives in your more-than-capable hands.
We give back to you the worries we stole.
Drench them in the light of your steadfast love and care.
We seek you.
We love you.
May the peace of all peace be ours this night.
Amen
We lay this day in your hands.
We give it back to you.
Keep all that is of worth and soak the rest of it is the rains of your grace.
We lay our lives in your more-than-capable hands.
We give back to you the worries we stole.
Drench them in the light of your steadfast love and care.
We seek you.
We love you.
May the peace of all peace be ours this night.
Amen
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Day 55: 16/052013
Father,
We laugh with you at the silly things you do, at the ironic things you plan.
We giggle with delight at your steadfast pursing love.
We weep with you over the brokenness of your creation.
We cry our eyes out in pain at the hurt we cause others and the hurt that is done to us.
We rejoice with you at the victories you win in our lives.
We celebrate our being found and your finding of our friends.
We do life with you.
We do life with you because apart from you there is no life.
we have tasted and we have seen that the Lord is good.
That the Lord is good in every season.
And so today, today we proclaim and announce to you that God is light and in him is no darkness.
"shine bright like a diamond" Lord Jesus the Christ.
We love you.
We laugh with you at the silly things you do, at the ironic things you plan.
We giggle with delight at your steadfast pursing love.
We weep with you over the brokenness of your creation.
We cry our eyes out in pain at the hurt we cause others and the hurt that is done to us.
We rejoice with you at the victories you win in our lives.
We celebrate our being found and your finding of our friends.
We do life with you.
We do life with you because apart from you there is no life.
we have tasted and we have seen that the Lord is good.
That the Lord is good in every season.
And so today, today we proclaim and announce to you that God is light and in him is no darkness.
"shine bright like a diamond" Lord Jesus the Christ.
We love you.
Day 54: 15/05/2013
Christ,
I chicken scratch out some words...meaningless is how they feel...Speak meaning into them.
Tired, weary, needing some direction...I sit with you. I wait on you.
You move me
your presence surrounds me
Your love fills me
I rest in you.
May the peace of all peace be mine this night.
I chicken scratch out some words...meaningless is how they feel...Speak meaning into them.
Tired, weary, needing some direction...I sit with you. I wait on you.
You move me
your presence surrounds me
Your love fills me
I rest in you.
May the peace of all peace be mine this night.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Day 53:14/05/2013
Holy God, Merciful father,
I sit here ashamed.
Ashamed that sometimes I treat your babies as less than human.
That sometimes my words and actions just strip that God-breathed soul right out of them.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that sometimes my tongue just takes over.
I'm sorry that my own agendas just push my life, like a woman induced by sheer will power.
I'm sorry that I don't speak up for those who've lost their voice.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry and I'm thankful.
I'm thankful that your grace is more than enough for this broken mess of a woman.
I sit here ashamed.
Ashamed that sometimes I treat your babies as less than human.
That sometimes my words and actions just strip that God-breathed soul right out of them.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that sometimes my tongue just takes over.
I'm sorry that my own agendas just push my life, like a woman induced by sheer will power.
I'm sorry that I don't speak up for those who've lost their voice.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry and I'm thankful.
I'm thankful that your grace is more than enough for this broken mess of a woman.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Day 52: 13/05/2013
Prayers for the people:
For the one who has lost their way,
We ask that your beckoning and your calling would lead them, heal them, and find them.
For those who feel stuck in a trap of lies,
We ask that your truth would set them free, that the wrapping weeds would disperse.
For those who are discouraged, and down trodden,
We ask that you would send others to encourage, lift up and come alongside.
For the one who's body is crumbling faster than it can mend,
We ask that your healing would pour out in generous portions.
For the ones plagued by aloneness and isolation,
We ask for that the fears of being known would falter to their knees and hold their grip no more.
For the ones in search of meaning,
We ask that their eyes would be fixed on truth and truth telling.
For those suffering from inadequacy,
We ask for an extra large mug of grace.
For the heart broken and desperate,
We ask that your spirit would satisfy every need, fill every emptiness.
For the ones who know there is more, who have caught the aroma of your abundant life,
We ask that you would manifest it in their lives in ways that cannot be refuted or denied.
For the one who feels abandoned and neglected, the one who feels unseen and unheard,
We hear you, we see you, and we're sorry that we often appear or are too busy to receive your presence. Forgive us.
For the ones on the outskirts, on the fringes,
We invite you in, we want to know you, even when it makes us wince.
For those near and far,
we rest all of our loved ones in your arms,
we rest all of our enemies in your arms,
we rest ourselves in your arms.
Heal us for we are a broken people.
Heal me for I am a broken mess of a woman.
For the one who has lost their way,
We ask that your beckoning and your calling would lead them, heal them, and find them.
For those who feel stuck in a trap of lies,
We ask that your truth would set them free, that the wrapping weeds would disperse.
For those who are discouraged, and down trodden,
We ask that you would send others to encourage, lift up and come alongside.
For the one who's body is crumbling faster than it can mend,
We ask that your healing would pour out in generous portions.
For the ones plagued by aloneness and isolation,
We ask for that the fears of being known would falter to their knees and hold their grip no more.
For the ones in search of meaning,
We ask that their eyes would be fixed on truth and truth telling.
For those suffering from inadequacy,
We ask for an extra large mug of grace.
For the heart broken and desperate,
We ask that your spirit would satisfy every need, fill every emptiness.
For the ones who know there is more, who have caught the aroma of your abundant life,
We ask that you would manifest it in their lives in ways that cannot be refuted or denied.
For the one who feels abandoned and neglected, the one who feels unseen and unheard,
We hear you, we see you, and we're sorry that we often appear or are too busy to receive your presence. Forgive us.
For the ones on the outskirts, on the fringes,
We invite you in, we want to know you, even when it makes us wince.
For those near and far,
we rest all of our loved ones in your arms,
we rest all of our enemies in your arms,
we rest ourselves in your arms.
Heal us for we are a broken people.
Heal me for I am a broken mess of a woman.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Day 51: 12/05/2013
Holy God,
We give thanks today for the mothers you've given us.
For the mothers who laboured us in love into this land of the living.
For the mothers who lead us into all truth and all healing.
For the mothers who rebuke us and push us to grow and not settle for the status quo.
For the mothers who teach us how to live, listen and learn.
We give thanks for your mother's heart which softly curls us into your loving arms.
We love you. We thank you.
Amen.
We give thanks today for the mothers you've given us.
For the mothers who laboured us in love into this land of the living.
For the mothers who lead us into all truth and all healing.
For the mothers who rebuke us and push us to grow and not settle for the status quo.
For the mothers who teach us how to live, listen and learn.
We give thanks for your mother's heart which softly curls us into your loving arms.
We love you. We thank you.
Amen.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Day 50: 11/05/2013
DAY 50!!!!!! WAHOOOO!!!!!
I thought by now this would feel like a chore. And to be honest some days it is, but that's generally when I leave it until the end of the day. Clearly I'm at my best in the mornings.
Christ,
We lay our mess of lives in your lap.
We sit ourselves down at your feet.
We rest our heads against your knee.
Let us learn from you, let us absorb your love.
We celebrate our victories with you.
We dance with you on fears.
We sing loud chants of your faithfulness.
Let us have confidence in your goodness, let us be sure you are who you say you are.
We grieve our losses with you.
We put our heads in our hands and weep with you.
We cry out "Lord have mercy".
Let us see your healing move like the blaze of a fire.
We hold nothing back from you....
Truly, you are the Son of God.
I thought by now this would feel like a chore. And to be honest some days it is, but that's generally when I leave it until the end of the day. Clearly I'm at my best in the mornings.
Christ,
We lay our mess of lives in your lap.
We sit ourselves down at your feet.
We rest our heads against your knee.
Let us learn from you, let us absorb your love.
We celebrate our victories with you.
We dance with you on fears.
We sing loud chants of your faithfulness.
Let us have confidence in your goodness, let us be sure you are who you say you are.
We grieve our losses with you.
We put our heads in our hands and weep with you.
We cry out "Lord have mercy".
Let us see your healing move like the blaze of a fire.
We hold nothing back from you....
Truly, you are the Son of God.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Day 49: 10/05/2013
Holy God,
We're hungry for your presence,
we're thirsty for your life,
All we need is you.
And even though the questions seem to get louder and louder,
and the doubts seem to parade themselves as facts.
Today we choose to remember:
We're hungry for your presence,
we're thirsty for your life,
All we need is you.
And even though our bodies are sick and worn out,
and our minds are diseased with lies.
Today we choose to proclaim louder:
We're hungry for your presence,
We're thirsty for your life,
All we need is you.
And even though death is way too much of a present reality,
and life can sometimes seem bleak and dreary.
Today we choose to remind each other:
We're hungry for your presence,
We're thirsty for your life,
All we need is you.
And when all around us is joy,
and delightful good gifts from you.
We choose not to forget where they came from:
We're hungry for your presence,
We're thirsty for your life.
All we need is you.
Because Lord, in every season of life,
we want you.
Have mercy on us for we are prone to forget you.
Amen
We're hungry for your presence,
we're thirsty for your life,
All we need is you.
And even though the questions seem to get louder and louder,
and the doubts seem to parade themselves as facts.
Today we choose to remember:
We're hungry for your presence,
we're thirsty for your life,
All we need is you.
And even though our bodies are sick and worn out,
and our minds are diseased with lies.
Today we choose to proclaim louder:
We're hungry for your presence,
We're thirsty for your life,
All we need is you.
And even though death is way too much of a present reality,
and life can sometimes seem bleak and dreary.
Today we choose to remind each other:
We're hungry for your presence,
We're thirsty for your life,
All we need is you.
And when all around us is joy,
and delightful good gifts from you.
We choose not to forget where they came from:
We're hungry for your presence,
We're thirsty for your life.
All we need is you.
Because Lord, in every season of life,
we want you.
Have mercy on us for we are prone to forget you.
Amen
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Day 48: 09/05/2013
Holy God,
We awake.
We awake and we crown you as Lord over everything.
We crown you as Lord over details when we feel overwhelmed.
We crown you as Lord of healing when our bodies are sick.
We crown you Lord over others when we don't know how to interact with them.
We crown you as Lord.
We crown you as Lord over this broken, messy earth.
We crown you, and we ask that you exert yourself as king over every area of our lives.
We love you.
Amen
We awake.
We awake and we crown you as Lord over everything.
We crown you as Lord over details when we feel overwhelmed.
We crown you as Lord of healing when our bodies are sick.
We crown you Lord over others when we don't know how to interact with them.
We crown you as Lord.
We crown you as Lord over this broken, messy earth.
We crown you, and we ask that you exert yourself as king over every area of our lives.
We love you.
Amen
Day 47: 08/05/2013
God,
My pens don't work and I'm not sure where the non ugly ones are to write this.
I'm tired of fighting this cold or these allergies.
I feel my body fighting it hard. Walking has never been so tiring, and sleep has never invaded my eyes so early.
I feel my body fighting this sickness with all its stubbornness. I'm tired.
I ask that I would lie down and sleep and awake to a new body filled with new energy.
Amen
My pens don't work and I'm not sure where the non ugly ones are to write this.
I'm tired of fighting this cold or these allergies.
I feel my body fighting it hard. Walking has never been so tiring, and sleep has never invaded my eyes so early.
I feel my body fighting this sickness with all its stubbornness. I'm tired.
I ask that I would lie down and sleep and awake to a new body filled with new energy.
Amen
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Day 46: 07/05/2013
You drizzled my day with joy, like the caramel on my latte.
You brought light to my darkness, you unpacked my fears and their power was shattered.
Your spirit is like the refreshing calm of a popsicle.
Your words deposit in me an investment that's completely illogical.
I give you thanks. I give you thanks for your steadfast love which litters this earth. I give you thanks for your faithfulness which is as sure as the daylight. I give you thanks for your grace which continues to surpass all my imaginings. You go above and beyond for me day in and day out.
I'm humbled, and thankful.
You brought light to my darkness, you unpacked my fears and their power was shattered.
Your spirit is like the refreshing calm of a popsicle.
Your words deposit in me an investment that's completely illogical.
I give you thanks. I give you thanks for your steadfast love which litters this earth. I give you thanks for your faithfulness which is as sure as the daylight. I give you thanks for your grace which continues to surpass all my imaginings. You go above and beyond for me day in and day out.
I'm humbled, and thankful.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Day 45: 06/05/2013
Creator, maker, completer,
Your life giving power just flows straight through my veins.
I can barely comprehend how good you are to me.
I see your faithful, constant work everywhere:
In the dainty crystal drapes of the spider's web.
In the confident swaying of shade trees.
In the beating down sun that forces all the toxins in a direct route out of my body.
In the graceful parade of butterflies fluttering their assurances.
When you made this earth of yours, you made it good. a holistic, pure good.
And today, today I see evidences of it everywhere.
Your redeeming, creating, empowering love has impregnated this earth.
Wonder and delight are my response.
Sing your praises oh heaven,
sing your praises oh earth,
sing your praises oh human race.
For our Lord is mighty, and his delight is in us!
Your life giving power just flows straight through my veins.
I can barely comprehend how good you are to me.
I see your faithful, constant work everywhere:
In the dainty crystal drapes of the spider's web.
In the confident swaying of shade trees.
In the beating down sun that forces all the toxins in a direct route out of my body.
In the graceful parade of butterflies fluttering their assurances.
When you made this earth of yours, you made it good. a holistic, pure good.
And today, today I see evidences of it everywhere.
Your redeeming, creating, empowering love has impregnated this earth.
Wonder and delight are my response.
Sing your praises oh heaven,
sing your praises oh earth,
sing your praises oh human race.
For our Lord is mighty, and his delight is in us!
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Day 44: 05/05/2013
We have known you as the God of miracles before and we are trusting that we will know you as him again. We believe that where your spirit is there is freedom, and we believe that your spirit is inside of us. And we lay all of our anxious thoughts before you. We lay all of our stresses and cares in your hands. We rest in you this night. For truly you are the God who saves, the God who reconciles, the God who rescues. We worship you in spirit and in truth. Amen
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Day 43: 04/05/2013
Sweet Father of lights,
I wake and your light leads me.
I drink in your words like I methodically and carefully consume my coffee.
Here, in this mess of a life, your faithfulness astounds and confounds me.
I process and push back and even there your light leads me.
I chew on your words, no, I drink your words like a new infant who spits most of it back up.
Here, with my "prone to wander heart" I find your love chasing me, steading me like each movement of the waves.
I walk upstream against the forceful fear and it's your light that's enticing me.
I open my hands, I open my ears, I open my heart and the prayers of my sisters go up.
Here on this shoe-taking off holy ground I feel my wings unfurl.
I think and mull and talk and here your light enlightens me.
I open my soul, I risk the wild vulnerability and your assurance comes.
And here, here in my common, ordinary life, I am assured of your goodness, of your otherness.
And my heart is still.
I wake and your light leads me.
I drink in your words like I methodically and carefully consume my coffee.
Here, in this mess of a life, your faithfulness astounds and confounds me.
I process and push back and even there your light leads me.
I chew on your words, no, I drink your words like a new infant who spits most of it back up.
Here, with my "prone to wander heart" I find your love chasing me, steading me like each movement of the waves.
I walk upstream against the forceful fear and it's your light that's enticing me.
I open my hands, I open my ears, I open my heart and the prayers of my sisters go up.
Here on this shoe-taking off holy ground I feel my wings unfurl.
I think and mull and talk and here your light enlightens me.
I open my soul, I risk the wild vulnerability and your assurance comes.
And here, here in my common, ordinary life, I am assured of your goodness, of your otherness.
And my heart is still.
Day 42: 03/05/2013
God,
I can't believe it. I forgot. I forgot to write my prayers tonight. And so here I am. I drag myself out of my nice warm bed. Two days after my celebration I forget. I knew this day would come, but I didn't think it would come yet. And I feel like no one warns you about how messy life is. No one warns you that people get sick, and that dishes need to be done, and papers written, and taxes filed, floors vacuumed and deck furniture built, and groceries bought. No one warns you that while everyone appears to have it all together, on the inside they don't. On the inside sometimes they forget to write their prayers too, at least I hope so. And so tonight, tonight I'm tired and all I can whisper is "Christ have mercy". Because that's what I need, I need his mercy on my life, on every inch of my broken messy life. "Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy".
I can't believe it. I forgot. I forgot to write my prayers tonight. And so here I am. I drag myself out of my nice warm bed. Two days after my celebration I forget. I knew this day would come, but I didn't think it would come yet. And I feel like no one warns you about how messy life is. No one warns you that people get sick, and that dishes need to be done, and papers written, and taxes filed, floors vacuumed and deck furniture built, and groceries bought. No one warns you that while everyone appears to have it all together, on the inside they don't. On the inside sometimes they forget to write their prayers too, at least I hope so. And so tonight, tonight I'm tired and all I can whisper is "Christ have mercy". Because that's what I need, I need his mercy on my life, on every inch of my broken messy life. "Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy".
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Day 41: 02/05/2013
Holy God,
Well today was just one of those days. One of those off days. Those days where you just can't seem to get any of your self together. And I stopped in mid sentence over and over again today. My brain can barely get sentences out straight. And frankly, today, I'm just straight up thankful that you love me and can make sense of this stuttering brain of mine. I'm thankful that you are God even on the days when we just want do-overs, when we just want to curl up under the covers and sleep until tomorrow. Love on me while I sleep, order my mind and bring my chaos back into line.
We love you.
Amen.
Well today was just one of those days. One of those off days. Those days where you just can't seem to get any of your self together. And I stopped in mid sentence over and over again today. My brain can barely get sentences out straight. And frankly, today, I'm just straight up thankful that you love me and can make sense of this stuttering brain of mine. I'm thankful that you are God even on the days when we just want do-overs, when we just want to curl up under the covers and sleep until tomorrow. Love on me while I sleep, order my mind and bring my chaos back into line.
We love you.
Amen.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Day 40: 01/05/2013
I kind of can't believe day 40 is here! Wahoooo!!! For whatever reason this is a landmark in my mind. Thanks for reading, and journeying with me.
845am..."you're up early" I say to Danielle. "what? its 945am. You're up late". I guess I was tired.
So I drag my tired body out into the sunshine, allowing its rays to drill themselves into this body of mine. And I can't believe how you've changed my thinking. How the joy is starting to explode. How I fight you less. How my hands are starting to adjust to, what is now, the familiar feeling of being open and not clenched.
And my routine begins..."In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit`` My hands make the smooth motion of the protective cross across my chest.
``One thing I have asked of the Lord and this is what I seek....`I sip my coffee and read my prayers slowly. The intrinsic familiarity mingled with a freshness rhythm.
You`ve invaded my life is ways I didn`t expect. You`ve broken down barriers I thought we`re permanent. Your abundant life and steadfast love taste way better than I ever imagined. Make your home deeper in me. You have seen me. In my distress I cried to you: `look at me` and you saw me, you healed me, and now I walk in new life.
I sit here in wonder and amazement at your faithfulness to me. Even when my fists are clenched and pounding on your chest you still go above and beyond for me. I know this isn`t the end of my story, or that there won`t be deep waters again. But today, today I`m going to celebrate how you`ve been healing me. How you`ve been faithful in changing my brain patterns. You are good. And you do not withhold good things from those who love you. And I believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in this land of the living. Let fireworks of praise come out of my life.
845am..."you're up early" I say to Danielle. "what? its 945am. You're up late". I guess I was tired.
So I drag my tired body out into the sunshine, allowing its rays to drill themselves into this body of mine. And I can't believe how you've changed my thinking. How the joy is starting to explode. How I fight you less. How my hands are starting to adjust to, what is now, the familiar feeling of being open and not clenched.
And my routine begins..."In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit`` My hands make the smooth motion of the protective cross across my chest.
``One thing I have asked of the Lord and this is what I seek....`I sip my coffee and read my prayers slowly. The intrinsic familiarity mingled with a freshness rhythm.
You`ve invaded my life is ways I didn`t expect. You`ve broken down barriers I thought we`re permanent. Your abundant life and steadfast love taste way better than I ever imagined. Make your home deeper in me. You have seen me. In my distress I cried to you: `look at me` and you saw me, you healed me, and now I walk in new life.
I sit here in wonder and amazement at your faithfulness to me. Even when my fists are clenched and pounding on your chest you still go above and beyond for me. I know this isn`t the end of my story, or that there won`t be deep waters again. But today, today I`m going to celebrate how you`ve been healing me. How you`ve been faithful in changing my brain patterns. You are good. And you do not withhold good things from those who love you. And I believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in this land of the living. Let fireworks of praise come out of my life.
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