God,
I go to bed late and wake up early....something has to change.
And you're the first thing I cut out, and to be honest, right now, you're easy to cut out because I'm so mad at you.
but.....
I need you.
There is not goodness, no light, no life apart from you.
So I drag myself, literally, drag myself out of bed and into your presence.
And I say my prayers with all the apathy and pain in my soul.
I meditated and read and your words knock my carefully constructed tower to the ground.
How do I forget their life giving power?
Even in my doubt you're faithfully working myriads of miracles. I see it written all over the scriptures you lead me to. And to be honest I wonder at your ability to be this faithful to me when I'm this rude to you.
Your patience is tremendously out of control.
I love you.
I'm mad at you.
But I love you.
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