I'm sorry.
I'm sorry because today I wasn't patient with you.
You might not even know, because sometimes the more upset I am the calmer I appear.
But in my heart, in my heart I wasn't patient with you, and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I just half listened to you when you told me about how you lost your baby.
I wish I had stopped to cry for you, and given you my whole attention.
I want you to know that it matters, and that I'm not okay with your loss.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I didn't bother to tell you how beautiful you looked in those shoes.
I was so broke on my insides that I didn't have the strength to tell you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I wasn't willing to risk with you.
That something inside of me told me you weren't worth it.
But loving is always worth risking. So I'm sorry because that must have felt dehumanizing.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't live more bolder around you.
That I didn't respect you enough to show you my whole self.
But the truth is I'm just starting to get to know me too.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I just gave you the everyday spiel and didn't share a genuine moment with you.
That I didn't care enough to listen to how your day was.
I was overwhelmed today.
There were a lot of you.
And only one of me.
And my insides feel scattered all over God's green earth.
And my heart feels broke into billions of pieces of glass, washing up on every shore from every sea.
And my thoughts they just keep on running away from me.
So I'm sorry.
I'm sorry because today I wasn't my best.
And Christ didn't live loud.
And I didn't treat you like you are that beautiful once in a lifetime miracle of creativity.
Because that's what you are...each of you.
A miracle of creativity given life from the very breath of God.
And so I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't treat you that way.
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